When I enter a new household, I start at the top left. I get the first clubber entered and then go to the top of the right side to enter the family demographics and then the contact info. I think I remember you are right that until you save and close the first person entered for that family, no one appears in the column for tying a member to the primary email or phone. Until you save and close, the family has no one in the data base to tie that email address to.
Save and close this first member, then open again. Then, I choose the child, (if there is no leader in the family,) as the member who is tied to the email address. The non-leader parent is simply the person you are contacting in regards to the child who is the clubber or member.
That is how my logic as interpreted those fields, anyway!!
I hope this helps and answers your question. This is not an official answer, it's just how I've duked it out in working with the software since July! If someone has more insight, please share it with both of us!!!